Bad Ideas
by RedStalkingDeath
Summary: Sirius Black and James Potter have been up to no good. Again... The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition - Season 4, Round 13. Chaser 3 for Pride of Portree.


**The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition - Season 4, Round 13 – Real Randomness**

 **Team: Pride of Portree**

 **Position: Chaser 3**

 **Individual Task: S3R5: Glory Days – Choose a character and write about them in their sixth year at Hogwarts**

 **Optional Prompts:**

 **1\. (setting) Hogwarts' library**

 **2\. (quote) 'I have a cunning plan.' - Baldrick,** _ **Blackadder**_

 **4\. (dialogue) 'I** _ **will**_ **eat that damn muffin if it kills me.'**

 **Wordcount: 1107**

* * *

 **Bad Ideas**

"Can you see anyone?" Sirius Black urged his best friend, James Potter, in a hushed voice.

* * *

It had all started in the middle of a particularly boring sixth year Transfiguration class. Sirius had suddenly got the bright idea to transfigure his lesson object of the day – a kettle – into a rather delicious looking and impressively sized muffin. That in itself wasn't so outrageous, and all would most likely have still been well and good – it might even have earned him a few extra points, it was a rather impressive piece of magic, after all, if he may say so himself – if he hadn't proceeded to dare James to eat the whole thing without Professor McGonagall noticing. James, who could never resist a dare – the more challening, the better – had wholeheartedly agreed.

The problem was that the strict professor never had her back turned for long enough for the Gryffindor to do more than grab the sugary great from behind a stack of books – conveniently placed to hide parts of their shared desk – and raise it halfway towards his mouth, before he had to hide it again.

After half an hour of that, the boy'd had enough. He announced – loud enough for all the students at the back of the classroom to hear - "I _will_ eat that damn muffin if it kills me". Then he hurriedly stuffed the whole thing -or rather, as much of it that would fit – into his mouth. That, of course, caused quite a bit of laughter, and even some cheering, from the rest of the class, and all the commotion alerted their professor to what was going on behind her back.

But at the very moment when the now enraged professor were about to yell at the boys for yet again disrupting her class – for the third time that week, in fact, and it was only Tuesday – when they were, quite literally, saved by the bell.

* * *

"I have a cunning plan," Sirius had announced a few hours later. A statement he had taken to use frequently since Remus had showed them the muggle TV-show _Blackadder_ when they had come to visit him the previous Christmas.

The two boys had already missed dinner in their mission to avoid being found and the punishment that was sure to follow.

Which was how The Most Mischievous And Fashionable half of the Marauders found themselves in the room they dreaded the most in the whole castle. The place of their morst horrible nightmares.

The Hogwarts' Library.

And, unlike the sentence's original owner's more or less dubious plans, it was actually quite a brilliant plan. Because, in all honesty, who in their right mind would ever suspect the always troublemaking Marauders of hiding in the _library_?

Everyone knew none of them would be caught dead in that particular part of the castle. 'None of them', meaning 'none of them, except Remus' that is, of course. The rest of them – here in the meaning of 'mainly James and Sirius' – would prefer not to tarnish their hard earned reputation by rumours of them being seen in the near vicinity of the room full of books. (Because, naturally, it would be equally as damning to be heard uttering the name of the room in question.)

"Where is Moony?" Sirius wondered aloud in a too loud to be effective whisper. "We could use his patented 'calm voice of reason' to reason our way out of our current plight."

"Prefect meeting," the other boy replied absently, peeking around the edge of a bookshelf to determine whether or not their pursuers were closing in on their hideout. "Like every other time we could use his talents."

"Traitor," Sirius stated with a pout – which he would vehemently claim to be a scowl, if anyone ever called him out on it – then took a moment to contemplate the betrayal of their more studious and law abiding friend leaving them to fend for themselves in the name of his duties. "What about Wormtail? I could swear he keeps disappearing more and more often lately."

"I think he might have a girlfriend," James confided with a shrug, still keeping watch for any suspicious movements beyond their bookshelf.

"Really? Sirius replied with a touch of surprise colouring the tone of his voice.

"Yeah," the other Gryffindor confirmed, jumping slightly as the doors to the library could be heard opening, then closing again, in the distance. "I mean, why else would a guy sneak off without telling his friends where he's going?"

"We've been abandoned by our fellow Marauders and partners in mischief, set aside in favour of-!" Sirius lamented voefully in a loud and dramatic voice, before abruptly cutting himself off when he realised how his voice carried – and practically echoed – in the silence of the vast library. He wouldn't want to give away their location, after all, no matter how important his words may be.

Just then the other sixth year started running a hand through his hair – mussing it up horribly – and righting his rumpled shirt and tie, before moving to leave the safety of their chosen bookself.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Sirius exclaimed in a stage whisper, grabbing the arm of his fellow friend in hiding. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Evans," the other boy stated simply, as if that one, short word explained it all sufficiently – which it did.

"Have you lost your mind?" Sirius inquired incredulously, shocked by his friend's utter lack of self-preservation when faced with the object of his affection. "It could be a trap! They know your weakness, and could be using her as bait to lure you – and me, by assosiation – out of hiding and into their ever shrinking net. Oh, they _are_ clever. _Very_ clever. Don't fall for it!"

"But, Padfoot, it's _Evans!_ " James protested in a vain attempt at swaying his friend's opinion on the matter. "She wouldn't _do_ that to me.

"I don't care," Sirius said firmly, still with an unyielding grip on the other boy's forearm. "It's not like she's going anywhere. You can go back to following her around like a lost puppy after the present danger has passed."

James made a pitiful whimpering sound at the back of his throat in defeat, before retreating behind the bookshelf and out of sight of all other occupants of the room once more. Sirius was right, he supposed. He couldn't risk ending up in detention every evening for the rest of the year - Evans might change her mind about the matter any day!

* * *

 **AN: Let's just pretend _Blackadder_ existed back in the 70s... x)**


End file.
